You're Mama's So Fat....

For years now my weight has fluctuated, going up and down like a yo-yo (though apparently it knows nothing about gravity and therefore insists on staying up more often than not).  I have many fully legitimate excuses for my heftier than average derriere- kids, thyroid, biology.... In the end though, it boils down to one thing.

I. Love. Food.

All food, from carnival corn dogs and funnel cakes to pepper crusted fillet and lobster at the club. I have the appetite of a 13 year old boy, but the metabolism of a retired sumo wrestler.  The fact that I've also never met a desert that I don't like doesn't help.  I can finish off an entire birthday cake before the candles are blown out, given the opportunity. 

I know this isn't healthy, and so I try my damnedest to curb the obsession.  Unfortunately, I also have zero will power.  Zilch.  So it's the same every time, without fail- I do great for a couple of days, and then suddenly I find myself hiding in the pantry eating three dozen Twinkies and a bag of chips. I know what you're thinking- just don't buy it and then you won't eat it.  Nope, doesn't work.  I'll eat stale animal cracker crumbs if that's all I've got. 

So in the time honored tradition of women everywhere who can't buckle their jeans any longer, I am starting a diet.  Again.  And I'm inviting you guys along for the ride.  Maybe if all three of you (God, there's at least three of you, right?!) are watching it will force me to stick with it. So diet attempt #7,953,441 is officially underway!

After I finish that lost box of Twinkies.

Yup, sounds like a damn good plan to me.